I’m still human; still discovering more about my God every day;  still discovering that God is supremely trustworthy.  In Him, I can find wisdom.  When I’m hurting, I can trust He knows and is still in charge.  He may not handle things the way I would, but then He’s God and I’m not, and for that, I’m extremely grateful. 

Mark joined Paul and Barnabas on their first trip which set out from Antioch.  They sailed to Cyprus and traveled across that island, preaching and teaching and ministering wherever they went.  After that, they went to Pamphylia (modern Turkey).  Scripture simply says that at that point, Mark left the team and returned to Jerusalem.  Later, Paul refused to allow Mark to join him on another trip because he thought Mark had abandoned the first team and the work they were doing. Barnabas thought Mark deserved a second chance.

By the time the missionary team departed, Barnabas had decided to take Mark on a different outreach and Silas became Paul’s new missionary partner.  Later Biblical comments make it clear that none involved considered this a permanent rift.

Conflicts can be opportunities to clarify ideas, expectations, and goals.  They may bring into the open what needs to be changed.  Even good change rarely happens without conflict.  Mark probably didn’t enjoy the fact that Barnabas and Paul separated over him, but he had to appreciate that someone believed he was worth another chance.  Mark eventually grew into a godly disciple whom Paul counted as a trusted friend.  Conflict can lead to good endings. Isn’t it great that we serve the God of the second chance?  Even when we were sinners, He came and died for us so that He could make a way to settle the conflict between Him and us.  We didn’t deserve it.  But He did it anyway.  Doesn’t that just make you feel so astonished sometimes???  What an amazing God!

The Bible is full of examples of judgmentalism – the Jews in the wilderness (Num 16), the Pharisees (Matt 22), the prodigal son’s older brother (Luke 15), the immature Christians in the early church (1 Cor 3).  One of the most serious biblical examples was Miriam’s criticism of Moses’ wife (Num. 12).  God severely judged Miriam’s judgmental spirit.

Just for the record, there is a difference between judging and being judgmental.  Christians need to be able to judge what is good and what is evil so they can discern God’s will for their lives.  Believers are also called upon to judge disputes among believers, as well as to judge sin and deal accordingly with it (1 Cor 5).  Sometimes believers need to discern sin in their fellow believers and point it out in a loving way (Prov. 27:17).

So what about when Jesus said, “Judge not that you be not judged.  For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you?”  (Matt 7) In this same passage, He also said that people cannot remove the speck from someone else’s eye when they have a plank in their own eye.  Jesus was speaking against having a critical spirit.

Judgmental people are critical, condescending, unloving, and unforgiving.  They are more concerned with pointing out others’ mistakes than helping them with their problems.  Their attitudes create anxiety in others whom they attempt to manipulate by demanding compliance with their opinions.  Critical people tend to make others feel that they are all alone in the world.

Another characteristic of judgmental people is their self-centered view of life.  They are far more concerned about themselves than anyone else.  They lack empathy and resist opening up enough to let others talk freely about deeply emotional issues.  It is easier for them to condemn than to forgive.  They lock themselves in parental-style role and refuse to change.  They may try to shame people as a means of controlling them.  While some judgmental people may think that they are helping others do the right thing (according to them), they are really hurting them in the long run.  Forced behavior, controlled by guilt manipulation, often leaves people wanting to break free.

People’s reactions to judgmental people can include feelings of detachment (being emotionally inaccessible) and abandonment (connecting then leaving), and can result in criticism (unloving responses) and even abuse (emotional violation).

One of the major causes of judgmentalism is guilt.  People tend to criticize others for problems with which they tend to struggle themselves.  Another cause is fear.  People fear those they do not understand.

Judgmentalism is a heart attitude that often blinds people to their own problems.  It is quick to point the finger but slow to bend the knee.  To be set free of a critical spirit, believers can begin by praying for others and working to genuinely reach out to others in love.  They can get into an accountability relationship to learn to discern the difference between appropriate judgment and judgmentalism.

A critical spirit can often be discerned by identifying people’s motives.  If their words are meant to tear others down in order to build themselves up, then they are being judgmental.  If they are minimizing and excusing their own faults while pointing out the faults of others, then they are being judgmental.  If we find ourselves being critical of others, we need to ask God for forgiveness.  Ultimate judgment belongs to God (Rev 20).  We dare not attempt to put ourselves in His place!

Paul: Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

One thing I’ve learned from counseling, too many Christians are bound up in their past – as a result, they cannot fully live in their present.  All of us to some degree or another have issues from our past that have to be properly dealt with before we can really proceed to walk into the perfect plan of God for our lives. Some Christians are so bound up with some of the things that has happened to them in their past – that they literally cannot get off the couch to start living again, much less ever fully walk into their real calls for the Lord.

What is letting go of your past?

Letting go of your past means accepting that there’s nothing you can do to change the past. What’s done is done.  It is what it is.  Learning the short version of the serenity prayer helps with this.  It’s knowing that, even if you had a “do over,” you would still be the person you were with the knowledge you had and would have still done the same things.

Letting go of your past means forgiving yourself for your mistakes. Ruminating on what you could’ve or should’ve done is ineffective and unhealthy. If you’re dealing with your mistakes or facing your failures, try to forgive yourself.  If God can forgive you, who are you to hold a grudge?

Letting go of your past means being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself dwelling or obsessing over the past, gently draw your thoughts back to the present.  “Whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Phil 4:8

Letting go of your past means trusting the nature of time. You will heal and move on. Your wound will slowly close up and soon only a faint scar will remain – if you let go of your past.

Letting go of your past means seeking balance in your conversations. It’s important to vent and share your pain and sadness, and it’s equally important to show your interest in other people’s lives. Letting go of your past means letting go of yourself.

Paul really puts this principle in proper perspective in relation to the big picture with what we are all involved in with the Lord:

“ Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. ¹³ Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. .” (Philippians 3:12-14)

Notice Paul starts out the second part of this verse with the words “but one thing I do.” And from there he goes into the principle of not looking at what is behind him – but looking and reaching forward for those things which now lie ahead of him. The words “but one thing I do” is being put in the context of something that he is really making sure that he does on a regular and consistent basis.

This particular mental quality is one that you will have to stay on top of and not let get away from you. It’s very easy to start falling back on all of the bad things that may have occurred in your past, and then use that as an excuse to start feeling sorry for yourself or to justify some of the irrational things you may be doing or thinking about doing.

Then notice Paul ends this verse really putting everything in proper perspective when he says that what he is wanting to press forward on is the “upward call of God.” God the Father has a specific plan and call for each person who will come to Him and fully surrender their entire lives into His hands. But you will never be able to press forward and walk into this upward and high calling unless you can first learn to let your past fully go.

Remember that letting go of your past is a process and will take time.  But keep your eyes on the goal and hang in there.   Learn to enjoy life.  Learn to make each moment count.  Don’t just exist.  Learn to really live.

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;

Oh my!  How it stirred my heart!  How I felt the awesomeness of what Christ had done!

In the 1800′s someone sent in a few cents to the US Treasury Department.  The enclosed note read, “This is for payment for a reused postage stamp.  It wasn’t canceled so I pulled it off and used it again. The money is to ease my conscience.”  The US government, not knowing what to do with those few pennies, created teh Conscience Fund.  To date, that fund has received over five million dollars.

We all experience guilt at some time.  And nearly all of us react to it in a predictable manner.  We are filled with shame.  Most of us don’t have trouble knowing when we’re guilty.  It’s knowing what to do about that guilt that’s the problem.

• pay attention to uncomfortable feelings.  Guilt is a signal that something is wrong.
• Remember that everyone is human. Punishing yourself is useless.  Correct mistakes and move on.
• If guilt feelings are a result of sin, ask God for forgiveness, accept His cleansing love, correct the misdeed if appropriate, and forget it.
• Recognize that “telling all”can be a way of inflicting more punishment on yourself.  This only eases the sense of guilt for the moment and may put unfair stress on those who are listening.  Permanent relief from moral guilt comes from God’s forgiveness, not public confession.  In most cases, the scope of our confession should net exceed the scope of our sin.

We can deal with guilt and be sorry self-condemnation.  Paul says, “For Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow  of the world produces death.” (2 Cor. 7:10)

Christ didn’t come to condemn us and make us feel guilty.  While donations to the US Conscience fund may ease our minds temporarily, Christ offers to remove the guilt entirely and for entirely and for eternity.  He came to set us free from sin and guilt.  Fall on your knees!  Hear the angel’s voices!

O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

“I think that is a cool idea, think how proud we are when we stand back and look at the snow men we made from snow and then how sad we are when they melt, just think, God made us from the dust and then gave us the breath of life, oh how proud and full of love and joy that made him and then when we turn from him and let ourselves melt into our sin oh…the sorrow that must cause! He is soo awesome that he gives us a chance to never have to melt but to be alive in him always!!!! “

What an awesome God we have and how wonderful to be reminded of that even through posting a simple, silly thought on Facebook.

Listen and Ask Questions
Other people like to know they’re being heard and that their ideas are appreciated. By being a good listener, you let others know that you value what they have to say and, by extension, who they are.
Give a Compliment
Everyone loves an ego boost. Noticing something you like about someone and sharing it with him or her is a great way to forge a connection and start a conversation.
When giving a compliment, be honest and genuine. Even if you’re complimenting something very small—like the color of the person’s shoes—it’s likely to be appreciated. You might even receive a compliment in return!
Detach Yourself From Technology — Temporarily
You’re less likely to notice who’s interested in you if you’re constantly checking your voicemail and text messages. Being online or on the phone also sends the message to others that you’re unavailable.
Put away your cell phone from time to time and take a look around. Who seems funny or interesting? Which people in the room have you never talked to? Who pays attention to your ideas? Make a mental note and spend a little time getting to know these people face-to-face.
Join a Club or Team
Having an interest in common with another person gives both of you something to talk about. No matter if that interest is reading, rugby or rock ‘n’ roll, pursuing it with other people is fun and gives you a sense of meaning and belonging. Clubs, teams and other groups also work toward common goals, which is inspiring, teaches you how to solve problems and helps you bond with others.
Volunteer
A strong desire to help others is attractive to most people, whether they’re looking for a friend or a date. It’s also extremely appealing to colleges and scholarship programs. Channeling this desire into a volunteer project is a great way to meet others, build community and work toward common goals.
Laugh
Letting others know that you think they’re funny makes them feel good and shows them you’re interested in what they think. It also shows you have a good sense of humor, which is one of the top things people look for in a person.

Reach out and actually touch someone today. See if it doesn’t feel good.

Ps. 16:11 You will show me the path of life; in Your presences is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Ps. 32:11  Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous; and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.

Matt. 25:23 His Lord said to him, “well done good and faithful servant…enter into the joy of your Lord.

John 15:11 These things have I spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

Laughing is an expression of joy that comes from the heart of God Himself.  Good humor is edifying and encouraging.  Col 3:23 tells us that.  Whatever we do, do it heartily as unto the Lord.  Laughter comes under the category of whatever.  Humor shows the joy, the passion, the great adventure of the Christian life.  Laughter and music are two of God’s greatest gifts to us.  They give us the ability to express our inner feelings with a sense of joy, anticipation, and participation.  Laughter puts things in perspective.  The one who knows God can laugh even in the face of death because to die with Christ in our heart is to live – and laugh – with Him forever.  So laugh.  Enjoy the great gift of life and of humor.  Put things in their proper perspective.  Life is meant to be laughed at.