Run with Patience

There was a recent study which attempted to describe what makes people happy.  Some hypotheses were put forth before the study: beauty, riches, success, etc.  The study showed that none of these were significant in happiness.  The key to happiness is close relationships.  Since most of us would declare that we would like to be happy, then it would follow that it would benefit us to build good close relationships.  But, frankly, there is not a whole lot we can do to cultivate healthy relationships.  Techniques don’t work.  It’s more a matter of who we are in relationships rather than what we do.   So what are some ways of being in order to have good relationships?

·         Be someone who listens – this is found at the heart of every good relationship.  We need the ability to listen and understand what another person is saying.  We need to take the time to hear what is behind the words – the real message.

·         Be someone who is safe – a close relationship is built on feelings of security.  Don’t play games.  As long as we don’t feel safe, we are not going to open up and be real.  We cannot be genuine. 

·         Be someone who helps – we need to help because we want to not because we have to.  “That’s what friends are for.”

·         Be someone who walks in another’s shoes – we have to learn to see the world from the other’s perspective as much as we can.  This helps us begin to understand why they might react, think, and feel the way they do.  This takes work as it doesn’t come naturally.  It takes us choosing to see life from the other’s perspective – it is a deliberate choice on our part.  It also shows a genuine interest and caring.  Who among us does not wish to be truly known and understood?

·         Be someone who receives – there needs to be a give and take in relationships on order to keep both people in balance.

·         Be someone who weathers turbulence – disagreements will happen.  This usually is indicative that both people are beginning to go beneath the surface and talk about their true feelings, thoughts, etc.   It may be uncomfortable, but mature people will understand that these times can lead us to deeper, more real, more genuine relationships.

·         Be someone who knows when to call it quits – some relationships are not worth the work.  Yes, all relationships need nurturing, but some are just not going to make it.  If we are in a relationship that leads us to do things we don’t want to do or allows others to do things to us that we do not want, this relationship is not healthy.  If we are in a relationship in which we are constantly trying to win the person’s approval or we never feel accepted, this is not a good relationship. 

Remember, in building relationships, it is best to examine ourselves to determine who we are – what kind of person we are – rather than focusing on what we do.  What we do will flow from who we are.

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverb 18:24

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
Arnold Glasgow 

Few delights can equal the mere prence of one whom we trust utterly - George MacDonald  

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting Robin
unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain. - Emily Dickinson

And my very favorite one of all time:    “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
C.S. Lewis

Be Thou My Vision Hymn

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Lynn has posted about a woman who has recently passed away in TN.  It’s well worth the read.  Here’s the link: http://graceindelible.blogspot.com/2008/05/dianne-odell-remarkable-life.html

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.

Imagination is more important than knowledge…

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.

“Do not make the mistake of confusing composure with ease.” 

                                                      Tuvok on Star Trek:Voyager

Some random quotes which make me think…..

“The ability to ask the right question is more than half the battle of finding the right answer”– Thomas Watson

“The person who knows he’s right never needs to ask questions”– proverb

“When you shoot an arrow of truth, dip its point in honey”– Arab proverb

“Don’t just throw the seed at the people! Grind it into flour, bake it into bread, and slice it for them. And it wouldn’t hurt to put a little honey on it.”– Charles Spurgeon

“When you are on the wrong train there is no point in running along the corridor in the opposite direction”– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.”– Paul, tentmaker